If You Give A Mom A Night Off

If you give a mom a night off to do nothing, she’s going to ask for some peace and quiet.

When you give her the peace and quiet, she’s going to sit down to rest and bask in it.

Before she’s finished resting, she’ll want to binge a few episodes of Bridgerton.

But she’ll want you to take the children away to make sure the Duke of Hastings remains her little secret.

Just as she starts her list of shows, she might notice herself getting hungry.

She’ll probably ask for a snack.

But then she’ll realize that SHE is the magical snack-making unicorn, so she’ll have to get up and do it herself.

When she’s finished with her snack, she’ll want to quickly put the plate in the dishwasher… so it’s out of sight and mind.

She’ll start loading the dishwasher.

Then she might get carried away and start cleaning the countertops and the floors.

She might even end up starting on the dozen loads of laundry.

When she’s done with a few loads of laundry, she’ll breathe in the smell of the warm little clothes, and then she’ll start missing her babies.

Of course, you’ll have to do a video chat so she can see them.

She’ll see their little faces and immediately feel guilty that she asked for one night off.

She’ll probably ask you to bring them on home for a minute or two of snuggles.

So you’ll bring them back home, and she’ll lovingly ask them to share the details of the past few hours.

When she hears about all the fun you had, she’ll feel guilty again for missing it, despite the fact that she cleaned when she was supposed to be taking a break.

Then she’ll want to make it up to you (it was nice of you to try), so she’ll tell you to take the evening off and just leave the kids with her instead.

And that means she has to make supper.

She’ll make the supper while the kids destroy the house again, and now you can’t help her… wow, you got out of there quick!

Of course, the kids will get spaghetti sauce everywhere, so she’ll have to give them baths.

But while they’re taking baths and she’s cleaning yet again, they mostly scream and splash and hit each other.

So…. she’ll shout for some flippin’ peace and quiet, FOR THE LOVE!

And chances are…

If she has to shout for peace and quiet, she’s going to DESPERATELY need a night off.

• Inspired by “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”•