If a mama is running late in the morning, just know she’s had a full day already. Murphy’s Law applies here, too: if it can go wrong, it will. And it probably has been going wrong since she first opened her eyes.
If a mama’s house is messy, assume she picks up constantly. Her sweet little tornadoes just follow behind her to undo all her efforts.
If her sink is full of dishes, assume it’s all from this morning alone. Because, of course, they didn’t like the first few things they begged for, so she’s a full sink in by breakfast.
If there’s laundry covering the floor, assume it was already washed and folded before the kids started throwing it around.
If a mama seems fatigued or frazzled, you can safely assume she knows it. Offer up those generous remarks about her radiance, her glow, her patience; this is one of those times when kindness is far more important than raw truth.
If her child is misbehaving, assume she has exhausted every possible resource to get him the help he needs. Assume she disciplines him perfectly. And that she shows him the exact right amount of love and support.
If you wonder how you can help her, just assume TIME is the most precious commodity. She’s not asking for anything fancy. She just needs sleep, or an hour or two to binge some saucy TV, or to read a good book, or to relax with a hot stone massage and a pedi. Whatever makes her feel most like herself, not just like a mama… that’s what she needs. And you can help by giving your time.
When a mama says no to joining or helping or doing or being, assume her plate is far fuller than you understand. Assume she’s already at her maximum mental and emotional capacity.
And when she flakes out on her friends, assume she’s just as disappointed. Know that she really wants to be there, but whatever it is… even if it’s just that she’s lost the energy to put on real pants… it’s tough. Every bit of what she goes through, giving of herself endlessly, it’s tough. And she needs her friends now more than ever. So always and forever, assume she still wants to be invited.
At the end of the day, just know it’s okay to assume the best of a mama.